A San Jose man is refusing to spend the money to neuter his dog because he feels his dog is unattractive and bad with the ladies.
Cooper, a 9 month old pug was the runt of his litter. He’s shy, tends to keep to himself and hates being at the dog park. His owner, John Whitford, doesn’t think that Cooper poses a threat to any of the female dogs in the area. Whitford stated:
“I love my dog, but man is he awkward and kind of weird looking. I doubt he’s even capable of licking another dog let along impregnating one.”
A local animal rescue commented “This is ridiculous, any un-neutered dog is capable of impregnating many dogs, despite their so called cool factor. This is reckless and irresponsible pet ownership!”
Whitford doesn’t care saying:
“My dog just isn’t cool, no bitch would want him. I feel for him, so why take his balls too if he can barely use them?”
Cooper whose past times include staring out the window, eating his meals in quiet and starring at himself in the mirror doesn’t seemed phased by any of it.
He’s a simple dog and gave this answer to reporters when questioned about him getting neutered:
“I’m not necessarily opposed to the idea, but who says I’m into females anyway? Wait – don’t print that – I’ve probably said too much.”
At current date Cooper is still un-neutered.
(Pssst… this was a canine satire article brought to you by 3MillionDogs)